Your step-by-step guide to getting out of burnout—and staying there.
True or False: Burnout happens from being really busy.
False! Sometimes, getting a ton accomplished in a day or a week can feel energizing and euphoric (hence why I used to be a productivity addict).
Burnout occurs when we keep going (and going, and going…) and are disconnected from ourselves—our bodies, values, and energy.
Burnout is reached when you continuously ignore what your body, mind, and spirit are saying to you, and you’re not hearing it because everything you feel you need to do and are responsible for is louder. You are distracted by the noise of everything else. It happens when you keep “pushing through,” while you’re busy serving others (i.e., your kids, work teams, family, and friends) and neglecting your own needs.
Whether you’ve been in burnout for longer than you can remember, you’ve just reached your breaking point (three signs can be found here), or you feel yourself heading that way, you’re in the right place.
Here is your detailed, step-by-step guide to overcoming burnout and staying there.
STEP 1: Body SOS
Burnout feels like a mental breakdown, but before your mental state can be addressed, your body is first in line. Just like a child who melts down and can’t listen when they don’t have a good sleep or haven’t eaten in a while, we’re all susceptible to getting “hangry” or grumpy.
Attempting mental health improvements when your body is in neglect won’t be sustainable, and you’ll be back to burnout-land faster than a kid chasing an ice cream truck in the summer.
Do you have a lingering back issue you’ve been ignoring?
Have you been staying up too late, doom-scrolling, and hitting snooze a dozen times too many?
Have you skipped your annual physical for… a few years?
It may seem simple, but many high-performing people ignore the signs their bodies give them.
When you eliminate body-based distractions that sap energy and give attention to what will benefit your body, you’ll have more capacity to focus on improving your mental state.
Address pain: What do you need to do to reduce or eliminate any physical pains you have? From daily stretches to taking supplements regularly or getting a more ergonomic chair, get your body into its most comfortable and pain-free state.
Evaluate and improve your sleep: Are you (like most people) up too late scrolling the day’s (often-horrible) headlines? Set solid bedtimes and wake-ups. Science says seven hours is optimal.
Schedule your regular doctor and dentist visits. Treat them like a meeting with the board of directors at your company or a well-check for your child. Whether it’s a specialist, a female health professional, a dentist, or an optometrist, see whoever you need to see to keep your body in the best shape it can be.
Move your body: If you’ve been ignoring exercise, now’s the time to get back on the movement wagon. Even a simple 5-minute walk or stretch, the right kind of exercise, can relieve many body pains. You can even consult with a physical therapist to ensure the movement you’re doing is beneficial for you.
This “Body SOS” step isn’t a self-care luxury; it’s a necessity.
STEP 2: Refuel
Once you’re on top of your checkups and have your sleep in order, focus on nourishing your body.
Your body needs fuel, just like your car, to keep running.
Eat real and whole foods – as much as possible, minimize boxed, processed, and convenience foods that our bodies did not evolve to digest.
Hydrate–sorry, coffee doesn’t count.
Recovering from burnout is like healing after an illness or injury; take it slow and give yourself the resources you need to recover.
- Figure out if you’re drinking enough. I’m not talking about energy drinks, diet cokes, or martinis here, but pure water (or infused water). You don’t need to be the guy who carries a gallon jug of water with them all day (looking at my husband, Kyle here!), but aim for 6-8 cups a day.
- Log what you’re eating in a week. It may not sound groundbreaking, but ensure you’re eating a balanced, wide variety of good-for-you foods. Be alert to over-eating or under-eating. It’s important to treat yourself, but not when it becomes the norm. Foods are not morally good or bad, but pay attention to how you feel after eating and focus on foods that make your body feel good. Some people may feel best with a paleo-focused way of eating, veganism, or simply a moderate calorie intake that helps them avoid feeling sluggish and too full, while also matching their exercise output. (Apps like My Fitness Pal can help with this to get you started.) When you log your food, you’ll be more aware of what you’re putting in your body – this is an accountability partner that’ll reveal your actual nutritional intake.
STEP 3: Reconnect
Now that you’re not in literal survival mode (hooray!), it’s time to reconnect with what fills your spirit. This is the time to build joy back into your life and incorporate what you want to do (not just what you have to do). Connect with friends. Take a walk in nature, even on rainy days. Do something creative.
Ask yourself: What fills me up without depleting my energy? Start small.
Examples:
- Say yes to a hobby night.
- Call or meet up with a friend or family member (someone who energizes and doesn’t deplete you) for a catch-up.
- Relax with tea and a book, without your phone.
- Take a walk around your nearest lake to see what flowers are in bloom.
- Work on a model airplane or your car, if that’s meditative for you.
- Organize or join a pick-up basketball or pickleball game.
- Work on a puzzle, make some art, or play your instrument.
Most importantly: Do these activities without guilt.
Palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware documented the top regrets of people nearing the end of life in her blog post, Regrets of the Dying. A theme that emerged from her blog was the lack of and deprioritization of connection with family and friends, as well as not taking the time to enjoy life. Every single one of the reported regrets is related to this stage of the burnout recovery plan.
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
“I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
Learn from people facing their mortality, and live a more connected life.
STEP 4: Create Space
It’s tempting to fill your calendar as soon as you regain your energy. Don’t. Spaciousness is part of your healing and thriving.
Practice saying no (here’s some advice on how to say no like a pro). Practice doing less.
Rebuild your schedule to include buffers between events, meetings, and thinking sessions.
- Schedule white space on weekends.
- Let yourself not RSVP yes, even if you feel you “should.”
This step will help you stop reacting to time-crunching chaos and have space to breathe in between tasks and events.
STEP 5: Make Choices Based on Values, Not Guilt or FOMO
When you choose how to fill your time, use your values as your compass. What matters most to you, not just in theory, but in this specific season of life?
For example, if “family” is a core value of yours, it might mean choosing what’s best for long-term well-being over momentary happiness. It might be saying no to a happy hour with work friends and yes to a quiet night in with your new spouse. It might mean not over-scheduling weekends so you can be present with your kids.
Ask yourself:
- Which three values matter most right now?
- What are three things you can do this month that reflect those values?
- Where can you not spend your energy to protect what matters most?
Note: My value of “family” does not mean making everyone in my family happy 24/7 or always saying yes to them and no to activities that put me first. Making my kids happy is not my goal (even though their happiness elates me). My goal, as it aligns with my value, is to provide what’s best for them to make them well-rounded, strong, resilient, independent, critical-thinking, and supportive members of society. This means making choices that support my kids’ growth. Like allowing them to be bored so they can get creative to figure out an activity to do, or that I keep my arranged tea date with a friend even when my 8-year-old says he doesn’t want me to go.
Whether you have kids or not, taking care of yourself is in service to your family.
What to do when
Staying out of burnout isn’t a one-time endeavor. To help you figure out what to focus on to remain out of burnout, here are some ideas of what to focus on and when.
- Daily: Body Basics: Nourishment, sleep, rest, movement, hydration, and connection to people and/or nature and/or spirituality.
- Weekly/Monthly: Financial Health (retirement, budget), relationship health (i.e., making a date night with your partner), deeper connection (spirituality, nature, or an extended visit with family and friends), therapy of both mental and physical health, Ask yourself how you’re doing in the main areas of life, and spend a good chunk of time doing one of the hobbies that fill your spirit.
- Yearly: Taxes, annual physicals and wellness appointments, being part of your community by volunteering and/or donating (bonus points if you do it more often). Take time to reflect on the past year and look ahead at how you want your next year to go, based on your evolving values. I like to do this on my birthday, and many religions have this reflection time built into holidays (e.g., Yom Kippur, Lent, Ramadan, Ekadashi).
Design your burnout-free life
Create your life; don’t let it create you. You don’t have to bounce back to how things were. This is your chance to build something better—with courage, clarity, and conviction, and avoid burnout altogether. You’ve got this.
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